The Sandwich Generation: Caught Between “Sakripisyo” and “Sariling Pangarap”

This started as a catchy label for adults supporting aging parents while also raising small kids. But it also applies to anyone “sandwiched” between loved ones’ financial expectations and building their own future. We’ve all felt the emotional and financial tug-of-war between sakripisyo (sacrifice) and sariling pangarap (personal dreams).

Whether your family prefers pandesal or “kwassants”, it can be tough to shake the guilt of conflicting responsibilities. Utang na loob (debt of gratitude) is big in our Asian culture, and many of us are happy to give back as single adults. But once we start our own families or life demands more from us, we must rethink how we handle our commitments. 

The good news? With some proactive financial moves, you can care for your family *and* still build your own life. Let’s dive into some tips to help you balance the load and make room for joy.

Juggling family, finances, and self-fulfillment

1. Master the art of budgeting

Budget like a shopkeeper! List essentials—groceries, padala for Lola, a bit for family bonding. Then divide your budget into three parts: “now”, “savings”, and “family support.” By giving a bit to each, you ensure no area gets overlooked. 

Don’t leave out small rewards for yourself. A milk tea treat or weekend break can help keep you energized and motivated. A budget isn’t just numbers; it’s a guide to make sure every part of your life gets what it needs.

2. Build a family emergency fund, and make sure everyone contributes 

Set up a fund for biglaan (sudden) family expenses, with a set share from everyone each payday. Think small and steady: even if each hulog (share) isn’t huge, it adds up and can be a real lifesaver. Make it clear to everyone that *this is the go-to fund*, so no one family member is forced to scramble or bear the entire load in an emergency.

Can it be a hassle to collect? Sure. But stick with it. Set up alerts in the family GC and auto-debits to help others get in the habit of contributing. You’re not just helping each other but also easing the stress of being the financial first responder. It also shows everyone how to be more self-reliant.

3. Set boundaries thoughtfully, with healthy communication.

It may sound scary, but boundaries don’t mean a lack of malasakit (concern and care). Be clear on how much you can give, and how often you can help financially. Explain to the family that these boundaries ensure that you can help consistently – instead of stretching yourself too thin, possibly burning out and leaving the family without options. 

That said, open and honest conversations can be tough, especially with family dynamics. You might face challenges not just with your parents, but also with siblings who are happy to have you do it all. Dreading this talk? Take time to write down your thoughts, practice what you want to say and how to say it. The way you convey your message is a big part of how your loved ones will take it. Honest but gentle, let them know your decision with kindness and love.

When you’re able to do this, you protect your well-being and serve as a positive example for your kids. Finding the balance helps everyone in the long run.

4. Make long-term plans as a family

Plan far ahead for family expenses, especially medical or elderly care. If you begin contributing decades ahead, the more resources the family will have when you need it. It doesn't make you a bad family member, it makes you a responsible one.

How FWD can help you say “Pwede na rin akong mag-relax”

Managing family responsibilities doesn’t mean you have to give up your own dreams. With the right support, your family can work together to look after your loved ones and secure your future. FWD’s range of plans can help, making it easy to balance today’s needs with the future.

1. Protection plans. Organize health and life insurance for aging parents and young kids, so the whole family can help protect your loved ones.

2. Savings and investments for the future: Get life coverage and grow your funds with FWD investment-linked life insurance to secure tuition for younger sibs or even puhunan (seed money) for mama and papa. Products like Set for Life and Babyproof (not for parents only!) can make it happen.

3. Insurance for breadwinners: A product like SmartStart Lite investment-linked life insurance is ideal for breadwinners seeking their first insurance policy to support their family or parents. With premiums starting at just PhP1,200+ per month, policyholders can manage their financial responsibilities while staying within budget. The plan offers comprehensive coverage for accidental death and critical illness, along with a premium waiver. Additionally, life insurance and hospital cash benefits are available as optional add-ons.

When you’re protected and prepared, it’s easier to take a breath, put down the load and make time for yourself.

Celebrate Living, para sa atin at para sa pamilya. The Filipino sandwich generation doesn’t have to choose between our loved ones and ourselves. With thoughtful planning and the right financial tools, you can honor your family commitments and also celebrate living.

Know your options by talking to a financial advisor today!