Pinoy Single Parents: Solo but Solid

Single Parenting in the Philippines

Nowadays, single parenting is no longer a shock to many Pinoys. In fact, across the globe, millions of parents are raising children on their own, each with their own story of wins and losses. I’m sure you have a number of favorite titos or titas leading their household alone too. Whether by choice, circumstance, or unforeseen events, these brave and resilient NayTays walk through life with double the passion. That’s why they are more than deserving of the support the Philippine government is giving them.

Here in Pinas, we recognize and appreciate our single parents by giving them lots of benefits. As mandated in the Republic Act 11861 and Republic Act 8972, single parents benefits include financial aid, discounts on baby items, VAT exemptions, shorter declaration periods for single parenthood due to abandonment, parental leave, scholarships, and housing perks, provided they have a Single Parent ID. Hindi madaling maging single mom or single dad, and this is the least we can do to reciprocate the boundless love we receive from them.

Not to mention, single parents have extra financial responsibilities without a partner to share the load. Proper financial planning is critical to achieve stability and prepare for the future. Steps like budgeting, saving, and exploring investment opportunities can go a long way. Single parents may also consider life insurance to protect their dependents in case of illness or other uncertainties. Having an emergency fund and being adequately insured provides peace of mind when facing solo parenting challenges.

Deep Within is Unfathomable Emotional Resilience

A typical day for a single parent is an overwhelming day for someone who isn’t wearing the same shoes as they are.  Imagine waking up before dawn to prepare breakfast, getting the kids ready for school, managing work commitments, attending parent-teacher meetings, handling household chores, and then finding quality time to spend with their children—all these, often without the consistent support of a partner! They’ve got to have something in them to keep them going. And that’s where emotional resilience comes in.

When a person can adapt and bounce back from adversities and stress, they are emotionally resilient. Emotional resilience is the inner strength that allows individuals to face challenges head-on, learn from them, and emerge stronger. It's not about avoiding hardships but going through them with a positive mindset.

These single moms/dads are slaying it every day. Their emotional resilience resonates in the way they face adversaries, in their constant adaptability, and in their efforts to maintain positivity. Whether it's managing a sick child while meeting work deadlines or handling unexpected expenses, single parents face these challenges with a calm demeanor, always on the lookout for solutions rather than dwelling on problems. On top of that, the ever-changing demands of parenting and work require them to be flexible kaya nga their great at adjusting strategies and approaches as situations evolve. Even in the face of setbacks, single parents often focus on the silver lining, modeling hope and optimism on their children.

It Takes a Village to Raise a Child

Though our great NayTays are nailing it in manifesting emotional resilience, they direly need a network of support from their family, friends, community, or institutions to act as a safety net—giving assistance, understanding, and encouragement. As the age-old adage goes, "It takes a village to raise a child."

Let's start with the family. Close family members can provide emotional support, lots of hugs, words of encouragement, and a shoulder to lean on during tough times. Also, helping to babysit during emergencies or offering financial aid can really lighten their load.

Secondly, friends are the best in terms of filling up their love cup. Chatting with friends gives them a respite from the daily grind, providing moments of laughter and relaxation. Being marites to a single-parent friend will work wonders, you know! 

Thirdly, the literal village—the community and neighborhood. Resources like childcare, tutoring, and recreational activities in community centers, local clubs, and neighborhood groups are lifesavers for solo parents. Being part of a concerned community offers single parents a sense of belongingness and an extended network of people who care and assist.

Fourthly, since we’re all online, support groups and websites on the internet provide a platform for single parents to share their experiences, challenges, and solutions. Many of these groups organize workshops on parenting and offer financial planning and self-care tailored to the needs of single parents’ health and well-being.

In line with health and wellness, single parents must place high importance on living long and healthy lives to be there for their children's key milestones. Making lifestyle changes like eating healthier food, exercising, limiting stress, and getting regular checkups supports this goal. Services like counseling, therapy, and health insurance further bolster their efforts to stay physically and mentally fit for parenting duties.

Financial planning is critical for single parent families to maintain financial security and stability. Without a second income to rely on, they must budget carefully and have contingency plans to handle unexpected expenses or income disruptions. Setting up an emergency fund with 3-6 months of living expenses is highly recommended.

Most importantly, our mga ‘Nanay na Tatay pa’ kababayan needs professional services like therapy and counseling to help them neutralize the overwhelming emotions they carry and handle every day. And since they are the one person their children can count on, financial planning is a must. Financial advisors can assist them in achieving financial stability and planning for the future. For instance, putting money into mutual funds over time offers potential growth while still allowing liquidity for key milestones like college tuition. With prudent planning, single parents can build financial security today and a bright future for tomorrow.

Lessons for the Young Individuals

Single parenting is like a book filled with lessons anyone across all walks of life can use. If you are a young professional or individual na may jowa or just starting a relationship and thinking of maybe settling down someday or not marrying at all, or perhaps you’re just someone contemplating the complexities of life, understanding the awesome experiences of single parents can offer a lot of wisdom. Here's why:

1. The universality of single-parent experiences can foster a more empathetic worldview even if you are not a parent. Grasping the realities of single parenting can prepare young individuals for the unpredictability of life.
2. The emotional resilience embodied by single parents is not limited to parenting. It's a skill that aids in handling personal setbacks, challenges at work, or even the bashers. Resilience is excellent at teaching us to grow and learn from experiences.
3. Solo parents’ resilience teaches us to address life's challenges head-on. Their strength in parenting mirrors the qualities needed in the workplace: perseverance, adaptability, and positivity, even when the going gets tough.
4. By understanding the varied stories of single parents, we can break free from common stereotypes in family structures. This helps us build a community that's more accepting and inclusive of everyone's distinct journey.

Final Thoughts

Single parenting is a testament to the unfathomable qualities that parents bring to their roles daily. As we take a glimpse of our NayTays’ situation here in Pinas, we realize that they alone can make a family “complete” through the depth of love, care, and resilience. I’m sure their children can proudly tell them, “Ikaw lang sapat na!”  Single parents face numerous obstacles, yet they defeat them with unequaled resilience.

For young individuals beginning their adult lives, the stories of single parents offer many valuable lessons, from cultivating resilience to overcoming challenges with optimism. Most importantly, we learn that circumstances may limit options, but how we respond lies firmly in our control. With planning, support networks, and self-care, one can summon incredible emotional and physical strength. Single parents inspire us all to lead lives of purpose and meaning no matter the hand we are dealt.

Let the incredible stories of our single parent families serve as our guiding light in traversing the long and zigzag roads of maintaining resilience in relationships!

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